Monday, 2 April 2018

It's okay to delete bad friends.

Hello little geeks! 

  Recently I have been thinking about old friends who I cut out of my life for good reasons and I thought I would share my thoughts and experiences with this in case any of you are going similar things to tell you that if you have a bad friend in your life who doesn't treat you right or care about you then it is okay just get rid of them and cut them out your life.

Let me tell you a story. 

Once upon a time, there was a girl I knew,  who claimed to be my best friend through out high school. I knew this girl for 8 years until I realised what a bad friend she was even after being warned about what a bad friend she was from a few different people, I should of listened. 

For the sake of this story lets call this girl Emily, not her real name just for this. I first met Emily at a school event in Year 6, I did not attend this school at this point my older sister did and I was too young to be left at home without an adult so I came along with my sister and parents. I met her while eating a hot dog and watching a really bad clown act that the school had arranged for. Once introduced to each other we decided to go outside away from the terribly bad clown for to introduce me to some of her friends who later became my class mates when I joined the school in year 7. 
This night become a memorable  night that we laughed about for years. 

Through out high school she was a good friend and I never thought anything was bad, she was the only friend I really talked to in high school, I know I wasn't very popular, keep to myself in small private school, our class/year group was 20 people, 15 girls, 5 boys. I know our school was tiny, it was from ages 3-16 and had 200 pupils altogether!!!
Anyway throughout high school, we were good friends, I considered her to be my best friend and looking back I don't think there were many issues with her in high school other then we never got to hang out much outside of high school but for private school that pretty normal. There was a rivalry between me and a girl lets call her Katie, not her real name, and she was always very attention seeking, jealous person. She was always jealous of my friendship with Emily as we were very close, any chance she got to show her jealously and be mean to me, or tease me, knock books out of my hands, knock my stuff off my desk, take Emily away from me she did, but to the rest of the class and my teachers she was a perfect! (pauses to throw up)
Anyway, the only bad incident I can remember with Emily in high school involves Katie. One incident in particular, we were in year 8/9 (aged 13) and we had all just got facebook. Emily had only just got facebook alot later then the class as her mum was strict about technology and social media. It was Friday night and Emily and Katie were having a sleepover. My phone rings late that night and it was emily saying the sleepover was off they had an argument. This was a lie. The phone kept ringing until I unplugged the house phone as it was really late and me and my parents were trying to sleep.
The next morning I wake up to facebook messages from Emily and she was saying she was upset about the sleepover not happening and  she was angry and upset at katie because they had am argument, did I think Katie's hair was stupid and curly and random stuff that wasn't very nice like that. I believed it was Emily behind the screen and she upset so I went along with what she was saying even though I knew it wasn't nice. The messages stop and I carry on my weekend and go to school on monday thinking everything was fine. We get called into the head teachers office, which when your a shy 13 year old is terrifying. Turns out it was not emily behind the facebook messages it was actually Katie writing the messages with Emily next to her trying to see what I thought of Katie. Long story short we get told off by the headteacher, who terrifying enough without the lecture and Emily is banned from facebook and grounded by her mum for a while and they both a detention.

Be careful when talking to people online, you don;t know who it actually is behind the screen!

We leave high school and we promised we keep in touch and stay friends, like many people in my class promised to me on leaver's day, sorry if your in high school and about to leave friends, if you say this hate to break it to you but it wont happen you will all being to different colleges and make new friends and will forget about this friends, sorry this will happen, but good luck if you want to try keeping in touch. 
Back to me and Emily, we lost touch for a while and after a year we got back in touch and we hang out a little bit had a couple of sleepovers. She recommended at look at her college as I was coming towards the end of my second year and hated this college but  I had to do two more years (my first two college years were getting my GCSE English typically people do 2 years at college but I will have done 4!) She had to do another year and said "well I be there so you wont be lonely like your last college and we have lunch together and hang out all time" these were false promises. 
I looked into her college and quite liked it, far distance to travel but ended up going there (now towards th end of my college life and going to uni in September!) 
I didn't see much of her, or anytime I saw her, I had to organise it, she never offered to come meet for lunch or anything, and if I did see her I would have to meet her friends who I didn't know and felt uncomfortable around, which was a big deal for me with anxiety she knew about my anxiety and never offered to help or just have lunch with her. It wasn't like meeting was hard! We went to the same college and pretty similar schedules and lunch breaks and massive free periods! She never made any time for me.

I should mention as another thing, the summer time before I came to this college, it was our 18th birthdays, and the week of her birthday I lost my grandad to a heart attack but I still went to her birthday party and put on happy face. I had previously spent lot of time and money (I know money isnt everything but it's still important) on her birthday present. I still went to her birthday even though anxiety wise I was feeling awful, because I was going to her party were I didn't know any of the friends she invited, and with the loss of my grandad I was going through a lot. (side note my mum drove me an hour there and an hour back late on a saturday night, we live far apart and couldnt of gone without her driving me around , thanks mum ) Lets just say with anxiety, my grandad, I was going through alot but it was her 18th, so I made an effort to put on a happy face. 
My 18th about a month later, from my best friend at the time, I got nothing not even a text, not that money or present is important but I didn't get anything not even a card or lousy happy birthday text. I spent alot of money and time sorting her present out, I emotionally went through alot to put a happy face on and I got  nothing in return, and it was 18th, big year, she didn't care, she didn't give me a thought, it takes two send to send "happy birthday" in a text. 

This was when I started to notice things were going bad. My best friend, warned me and was telling me to cut my ties with Emily and ditch her now, before I get too hurt, I wish I didn't just dismiss this and listened to her.

A few months pass, a new year starts and nothing really changes, she never made time for me and never tries to care about me, just only thinks about her. It's coming up to the end of year 1 in this college and she will be leaving for a job offer soon, and this is where things turned sour.

She was planning on a little leaving party for her before she leaves for the job as it's in a different country. Me and her friend decided we would help plan it and come with ideas and organise this leaving party. We were talking through social media and planing. 

Turns out I was helping plan something I wasn't even invited to! How horrible, allowing me to help plan a party that I wasn't even allowed to go to! She didn't even tell me this herself, she had to message me through her friend!! she was such a coward, she couldn't even come talk to me (I know time is hard but we went to the same college still and both had break time and lunch at the same time!) I noticed everything was adding up to the fact she was a very bad friend who was too busy being selfish to care about me or my feelings.

We had a conversation at college one day, she found me by the printer in the middle of class, not the best time or place for a conversation about your friendship especially when your tutor walks by and sees you slightly upset.

We message back and forth lots and we both agree it's best to end the friendship, I was so done with her and needed to cut her out my life. I need to thank my best friend Jane (not her real name but she know who she is) who helped me write lots of messages and helped me deal with the situation.I don't think I would of manged the situation on my own if it was for her, so thank you, love you lots!!!!


I then cut Emily out my life, which was the best thing I could of done, it did hurt alot and I am still only just over it, as she was my friend for 8 yeas so it hurts. I wrote her a letter of everything I wanted to shout at her, and ripped it up and burnt it, I recommend doing this it bring you closure. I blocked and deleted he from social media and my phone, so I had no means of her being in my life any more. She is gone and my life is better now, and I friends and best friends who love and appreciate me for just being my weird self! I love these friends!


To cut this very long rambly blog post short, (thank you if you made it this far and are still reading!) It is okay to delete bad friends. I you believe a friend isn't a good friend, and doesn't doesnt care about your or your feelings, its completely fine to get rid off them!

steps to do this:

1. USE YOUR WORDS

Talk to them, whether physically, or texting which ever is more comfortable, talk to them and ask whats going on and if they still want to be your friend and tell them how they are being a bad friend.

if they listen, apologize, and you agree to give them another chance great! good luck! dont give them too many chances if they dont change.

if not:

STEP 2

say goodbye and delete them from your life.

cut any ties with them, block them on social media, delete their phone number and any messages

STEP 3

Find good kind honest friends who love you for being your weird and awesome self! I promise you good friends exist!

I hope this blog post encourages you to to get rid of bad friends or gives you the courage to speak to your bad friend about the reasons they're a bad friend and for you to use your words! Its okay to delete a bad friend!

If you need any advice or your unsure whether your friend is bad and want to talk about I am available, comment below or dm me on twitter @geekygirlonline
and I help anyway I can even if you just want someone to rant to about your bad friend.

Thanks for reading
remember you always have a friend in me!

Instagram: @geekygirlonlineofficial

twitter: @geekygirlonline

younow: younow.com/geekygirlonline


love you all

GeekyGirlOnline going offline xxxx




Wednesday, 28 March 2018

Questions Tag x

Hello my little geeks! 

My best friend who is new to blogging wrote her own questions tag and sent it to me and tagged it me in which I read the question and I thought they were so fun so I am answering them. I will link her blog here below and the post so you can go read her answers which you should as even though she is very new to blogging she is an naturally talented writer. 

my best friend's blog who tagged me in this and created the questions:
https://greenbeeorg.com

her questions tag:

https://greenbeeorg.com/about/

 I will post a blank copy of the questions in the comments for anyone who wishes to answer them as they are super fun questions. 

here are my answers to the tag:

1. My Favourite Sound is?

The start to any disney or pixar movie! You know the clips , when the line and fireworks go over the disney castle and the word PIXAR with the light clip. 

2. An exotic country I have been to?

I have been many places but the most exotic was probably either Dubai, Thailand or Singapore. I loved them all but my favourite was Thailand as it felt very creative even though it was very full of poverty but Singapore and Dubai were also brilliant and very and quite clean! 

3. I would like to travel to?

EVERYWHERE. I want to travel all over and photograph everything I see. Mainly I really want to go to disneyworld that would be an amazing trip (hoping to once I graduate uni) and San Francisco or LA or New York as I have never been and they look amazing! 

4. If I could bring back a famous person who would it be and why?

Francesca Woodman (a very good photographer who died at aged 22), and Picasso, Leonardo da Vinci, Van Gogh and Albert  Einstein as I would love to see how their minds worked.
5. I move best in ? 

Jeans or Pjs, or anything comfy

6. one of my favourite break time snacks in school were?

Cookies! My school use to sell cookies at break time and they were the best chocolate chip cookies ever! me and my best friend at the time use to race down stairs and get the best ones.

7. Sometimes I scream when...

Panic attacks happen... gonna leave that question there

8. A recurring dream I have is

either that I am at uni and goes horrible, and I fail with work and friends (very big fear off mine right now) or spiders attacking me in my sleep, or I was up and my dog who is very old doesn't wake up. all big scary fears right now.

one that is on a lighter happier note is one I had only last night about a cute prince of a guy whisking me off a unicorn to massive castle with all the books I could ever want. yes a child like dream ssshhh

9. The advice I wish I could give my younger self is?

you are not stupid just dyslexic, there is a big difference and there is nothing wrong with you or to be ashamed off, your just different and thats okay, try your best and be proud of yourself.

toxic friends exist and you will come across a lot of toxic friends but its okay to cut them out your life and be patient high school ends and you will find awesome friends who love and appreciate you.

10. An Actor or actress I wish I could meet is?

Emma Waston and Cara Delevingne or Anna Hathaway as I think they would be so fun to hang out with and have so much to talk to them about.

11.  a fragrance I love is?

any fruity fragrance, especially berry and citrus, or anything by LUSH especially snow fairy and comforter as they re my favourite!

12. The funniest thing I found in my pocket was?

a note in my school blazer from my friend a the time (hate her now how ironic) can't remember what the note said but it made me laugh very hard in my head I was class and did't want to get in trouble as I was terrified of getting a detention in school, never did though.

13. Something I didn't think existed is..

a wholphin, yes it's a real thing I promise! its a hybrid cross between a what and a dolphin which happens in the wild.


to check out more amazing hybrids check out this link :)
http://the-conscious-mind.com/11-stunning-hybrids-that-actually-exist/

14. my perfect pizza looks like:

-cheese
-herbs
-thick soft crust

15. I would never wear......expect for ........

dresses expect for my prom! or jouphurs expect for horse riding.

16.  I can't stand it when...

people chew loud or bad table manners.
people who talk loud in classrooms and on trains
the smell of coffee

17. If I could be any fictional character I'd be?

any female character in a book by Holly bounce she is an incredible writer and I relate to her characters a lot, specifically Amber, or Lottie or from her spinster series as I relate to them the most. please check her books out she is incredible!!

18. If I could be any day of the week I would be....because?

 Sunday because thats always been a day of relaxing or family or going horse riding or whatever you want, its the fun day of the week.

19. When I wake up I can't stand.....

conversations.. seriously can't deal with people talking to me or loud noises in a morning, it takes me a while to wake up and feel like talking.

20. If I went on a safari the animal I would be most excited to see is...

zebras or Rhinos or lions and cheetas and tigers as I have never seen them out in the wild only in zoos.

21. In school I always skipped....

nothing. seriously I was too scared off getting in trouble to skip a class, but I always use to try and get of PE as I hated that and my PE teacher use to understand I had asthma so she went easy on me and let me skip laps in cross country or let me sit out stuff if I felt I couldn't.

I use to skip the last 15 minutes of biology class with my friend, as we had dyslexic lessons together in another building (took us 5 minutes to get there) but we always made excuses about needing to get food or something and our teach always use to let us leave extra early and we would hang around on the playground chatting until we needed to go for our lesson. Don't know if that counts. no probably not.

22. 3 things I could live without?

books, friends and family especially my little dog, (that counts as one right?) and youtube.

23. If I could be famous for anything I would choose?

my photography hopefully...

24. If I could chose fire or water I would chose... and why?

water because I use to love swimming and fire scares me and I don't trust myself with fire.

25. A trend I really love is?

I don't know as I on't keep up with trends I do my own thing.

26. I would like to learn how to:

play the guitar,
learn to the flute again (I played for 5 years and then quit due to being the only one in my tiny high school to play, regret quitting so much.)
learn to scuba dive I think that would be so fun although have a big fear about the ocean...

27. If something breaks in the house I...

hope it's not expensive and blame my dog, I know but i am so scared about getting in trouble.

28. I consider myself to be...

a kind animal loving awkward geek.

29. a dream trip of mine is?

Disney world, LA, New York, San Fransisco

30. dream Job?

Freelance Photographer, maybe work for New York Times, National Geographic, Buzz Feed

I know I dream big but it could happen if I work extremely hard!



I now tag:
my three blogging friends from the hopefuls group that have been struggling with ideas and what to write so I thought this would help them : links below:

Keely Rose: https://thelongestroadtowalk.wordpress.com

Emma Shearer-https://lifeliesandalltimecraziness.com

Louisa He- whynothonest.blogspot.com



Thanks for reading :)

there is a clean copy of the questions in the comments if you want to write it:) if you do please tag me on twitter @geekygirlonline or instagram @geekygirlonlineofficial so I can read yours :)


twitter: @GeekyGirlOnline

instagram: @geekygirlonlineofficial


love you lots
GeekyGirlOnline going offline xxxx

Monday, 19 March 2018

How I cheer myself up when I feel anxious and sad x

 Hello my little geeks!

       This weekend I have been feeling really anxious and abit sad and I am not sure why, I think I was abit down about an ex friend from high school (which I found a soluation for, write a letter of all the stuff you want to shout and tell that person and then burn it/ rip it up. great therapy!)
Since I was feeling very anxious and sad this weekend I decided to do some things that always cheer me up and than I figured I could share somethings I do to make myself feel better.

here are some things I do to cheer myself when anxious:


1. Read a book..or 10


There is nothing like reading a book and escaping in getting lost in a completly different world. If you don't like reading I suggest you try it, trust me for many years I hated it as I struggled so much and even know with my dyslexia is a struggle but you can get drawn in and pretend to be someone else in a fictional world for a while and it's brilliant. go ahead pick up a book :)

2. have a nice pamper evening!




 The thing I love to do for pamper nights when I am feeling down, is draw a nice warm lush bath with some of my favourite products and look after my skin. For this I used some of my magic wand bubble bar, some comforter bubble bar and some snow fairy shower gel. I also used a face mask by 7th Heaven, the dead sea mask one, they are very cheap and cruetly free, I only use cruetly free brands.


3. Go for a walk.





Seriously, fresh air is great at clearing your head, just wrap up warm if you live in England and are like me and always cold.
I usually take my dog for a walk locally or take my camera out and try and find a new location (usually within walking distance or sometimes I drive to a location). here is a picture I recently took on a snow day last week when I decided I needed to get out the house and get some fresh air. I froze but it was worth it.

4. Talk to a friend.



Whenever I feel anxious I always FaceTime my best friend Ella, even though we have never actually meet in real life yet (hopefully will be later this month!)  I know her through youtube and we have known each other for two years now and we talk about anything, whenever I feel down I always text/video chat her as I know she can make me laugh. I love her to pieces and can't wait to meet her in real life!




5. Watch some youtube/netflix/a movie


My go to choices are either disney/harry potter movies or some of my favourite youtubers like Carrie Hope Fletcher, 8Passengers, Hannah Witton, TheFreyLife.



6. Cuddle an animal.

This is my dog Millie who is 13 years olden whenever I feel down I go and cuddle and play with her and instantly brings a smile to my face.




7. Have a nap.

Sleep is amazing, never take that for granted. I take naps as often as I can, usually when I get home from college as I don't sleep well at night so naps help as sleep is brilliant and you can cure so much physically and emotionally by napping.



8. Do something creative.

For me that would be writing, or editing photos or going out and taking some but usually my go to is writing some story.


These are some things I do to cheer myself up when feeling anxious or sad. what do you usually do to cheer yourself up? write them in the comments or write a post on your blog and I will come read it :)


Thanks for reading

places to find me when I am not blogging:

instagram @geekygirlonlineofficial

snapchat: onlinegeekygirl

younow: young.com/geekygirlonline


love you all

GeekyGirlOnline going offline xxxx








Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Hell Found Me part 11

Hello my little geeks!

Sorry if my uploading has been very irregular recently, I am working on fixing that but until may college is taking all my time with this big final project so I may vanish be irregular with uploading for a while but after May I will return to a good every week schedule. 

I think you already know what I have wrote this week, Part 11 to Hell Found Me story. The links to all over parts are below in case you need or want to re-read any they are all below and don't worry they all open in different windows/tabs so you wont lose the link to this part.












all caught up? great enjoy 


----------------------------------------
PART 11
----------------------------------------
I awake when a nurse comes into my room with a tray with a cup of pills and a cup of water.
“good morning Anna, you need to take these,” handing me my pills forcefully. I do as she asks, I sit up, rub my eyes and take the pills and swallow them with some water.
“what are they?” once I have swallowed.
“anit-anxiety medication, talk to your doctor is your unsure about medication or you want to change anything.”
“okay what time is it please?”
she checks her watch, “8.34 am, breakfast is served until 10. You have family therapy at 1pm.”
“thanks.” she nods, and walks out the door.

I flop back on my pillow, not ready to face the day.  I look at my phone and Izzy and Becca have sent me dozens of texts, I forgot I fell asleep in the middle of our conversation last night they must be so worried. I text them back straight away saying sorry that I fell asleep, they respond and we text back and forth some more. They let me know they are coming to see me in half an hour, I haven’t eaten breakfast or even gotten out of bed yet.

I crawl out of bed, and go to my clothes and try and decide on an outfit for the day which doesn’t take me too long. I pick my favourite jeans, my favourite Disney t-shirt and a youtube themed hoodie today’s is SuggLife. I hi play on my Spotify playlist its starts off with dodie’s EP and I  get changed. I search around for my hair brush and battle against my mane of hair. I undo last night’s pony tail and brush through the knots I do a quick side braid as that’s my favourite way of having my hair. I check the time and Izzy texts me to say they are almost here, I figured I can eat when they get here. I head to reception to meet them, I grab my phone turning my music of, and grab my room key, and lock my room behind me. I walk down the isolation unit and I notice there is crying and screaming coming from the same room as last night, I check they’re no nurses around and check and it’s Bethan from yesterday and before I can talk to her I hear some nurses rushing towards her room I step back and carry on walking, I make a mental note to find her and make sure she is okay later.

I carry on walking and I see Nathan reading in the tv lounge he is very deep in the reading zone, he is reading “Harry potter and the half blood prince.” That’s one of my favourites. I leave him to read, he has headphones on and looks like he does not want to be disturbed. I carry on towards the reception. I see them walking through security, getting their bags checked, and getting some visitor passes, the security around here is quite tense, looks like they increased it since the escape earlier this week.
Once they have their visitor passes they notice me and we go and hg each other very tight.
“So what do you wanna do? Becca says direct to me.
“well what can we do here? We can watch tv, hang out in my room that’s about it.” I joke. “I really want to get some food though I haven’t eaten yet.”
“sounds good, and then I have fun stuff to show you later! where is the canteen? Over this way?” izzy exclaims.
“yeah it’s down here, not that I can even find my way much everywhere is white and all the same.”
We walk down a few corridors and we pass the isolation unit, It’s quieter then earlier but I tell them I have a friend stuck in here I want to check on. We go to her room and check for not nurses and I look in and she is not there.
“She isn’t here. I guess they must have moved her”
“aww Anna maybe she is allowed back on the ward you will catch up with her later.”
“Yeah I guess your right anyway I am so hungry lets go eat.”
We head to the canteen. We grab some trays and plates and order our food. We go up to pay and I show the lady my patient’s bracelet and she nods to let me carry on. Izzy and Becca get their money out and pay for their foods so I find a table near the window and they join me.
We all tuck into our food and chat some more, Izzy tells me about her crazy family dinner las night, usual antics from her crazy family. Becca tells me her dad is coming home later and he is going to be able to have three days off work, which I am very excited for her as he dad is never home much since he usually works 24 hour shifts as a fireman. She tells me her and Mandy and her dad are going out for dinner later today when he gets back and she was up late last night helping mandy make a welcome home sign as they only found out late last night.
I can tell she really excited about seeing her dad, he hasn’t been home in months.
“That’s amazing Becca, if you want to get off and help Mandy and Jamie get the house ready for your dad I will understand.”
“no don’t be silly Anna I just got here, they can manage without me for a while!”
As Izzy finishes eating, she has always been a faster eater then me and Becca, she grabs a sketchbook out of her bag. “last night while my brother drove me crazy at dinner so I went and eat in my room, and I started on some designs for our winter formal what do you think?”
“Izzy these are amazing! you did these designs just last night?”
“yeah I may have stayed up till 2am working on these, what can I say I love designing and it’s a good distraction from my insane family!”
“Izzy these are amazing.”
“thanks,” she shuffled through them and selected one, “this is yours Becky, see plain design and formal, but also lots of glitter and in a colour that wont make you stand out as I know you hate that.” She shuffled through the designs more and picked another one, “this is mine, very floral and princess like, with it cut at the knee with just a small back trail, and in colours that wont clash with my ginger curls, wish I had simple hair.”
She shuffled through her sketch book some more, “saved the best for last, this is one is your Anna, in a lavender colour as I know that’s your favourite with just a simple pattern and a jewel line around the neck and knee length, and I made a design for a courage that could match and I could give it to Nathan?” I rolled my eyes and responded “I thought it was just us girls anyway Nathan is just a friend and won’t be interested and might not even be allowed out.
She gets my point and shuts up about Nathan “okay fine just an idea”
“these are amazing though Izzy you must of spent all night working on these,” Becca chimes in.
“pretty much,” she yawns showing how tried I know she is, “but it was worth it, I am planning to escape some more from my crazy family this weekend and work on some samples, my mum planned a (she uses air quotes) “family bonding weekend” what ever that is meant to mean but I am not doing it so I will be working on some samples locked away in my room with my sewing kit.”
“good luck with that. My plan for the weekend? Involves family therapy at 1pm, more therapy later and oh more pills and more therapy."

Izzy gives me a hug, “tell you what in between my therapy sessions you can help me with my samples? I can bring my sewing stuff here and you can help?” she see the look on my face and remembers I cannot sew at all, “okay well you can help glue glitter and jewels think you can manage that?”
“easy!” I laugh. We get interrupted by Becca’s phone ringing. She answers and it sounds bad. She hangs up and looks panicked.
“what’s up Becca?”
“that was Jamie, apparently Mandy has broken her arm and is in the hospital now, she says she fell on her bike when playing, I need to go do you mind?”
“no of course not, give mandy a hug from us!” I give her a hug and she rushes off and runs out the door. Within a few minutes she texts to say she is with her sister in the paediatric ward just getting a plaster cast put on. Five minutes pass by and another text comes though saying she spoke to the doctor who said, it was a tiny simple brake, once the cast and sling is on she can go home and take it easy, it will take 6 weeks to heal, and she can come back and get he cast removed. I text back saying great, just be prepared for her to use this as an excuse to be bossy for the next six weeks, which Becca replied with a sarcastic responsive. I text her back with a few emjois and a nice message saying I hope despite the broken arm they have a really good time with their dad coming home. I see she is thankful as she sends a few kisses back.
Me and Izzy tidied up our breakfast plates and headed back to my room. We decided to get on with homework for a few hours until my therapy instead of working on the dress designs as I was really behind on school and I could use Izzy’s help with English and science and languages as she is not just god at textiles but also good in English and science and languages.
I grab my laptop and put some Disney instrumentals on in the back ground to help us study, I can’t focus with no music and it will block out some screaming and loud noises from this place. 
We haul the bunch of textbooks from my desktop my bed and begin with the hardest one for me which is science.  After an hour with the nurse coming in for checks and me being really confused, I gave up and decided to move on to English which I still find challenging but slightly easier than science. Another hour in and English is complete so I move on to language studies which I find slightly tricky as I am not the best at speaking but I really love learning languages, this year we are studying French which I love, it’s such a romantic and beautifully spoken language (except by me), I hope I manage to visit France one day. It doesn’t take us too long to finish as our language teacher always gives us easy homework. A nurse comes in for checks, and I look at the time and it’s 12:24 and almost time for my family therapy, and Izzy should be getting off anyway she has a dance class later to get to. I give her a hug and tell her to have a fun dance class and text me if her family drive her crazy which I knew they would she told me to do the same. I had about half an hour until my family were arriving and the therapy is to start so I go find grab a snack a all this studying had made me hungry even though I had a large breakfast. 
I head to the canteen for a quick snack and I pass Bethan in the hall way looking spaced out as if they have given her a large sedative, I decide to just carry on as she would not be able to hold a conversation judging by how spaced out she looks. I head to the canteen, grab an apple, a soda and a chocolate bar, show my patient’s wristband to the dinner lady and go and sit, I put my headphones in and catch up on some youtube while I eat my snack, I pick Tom Fletcher’s dear carrie, only ten minutes long.
I finish up and put my phone and headphones in my pocket and throw my rubbish from my snack in the bin. I figured my parent’s will be here soon so I head to my room to grab a book, I choose harry potter and the cursed child, I then walk towards the reception area so I can meet them. They aren’t here yet so I make myself comfy on a chair and plug my headphones in open my book up.
I was so drawn into my book that I didn’t see my family come through the door, until Aaron and Ella launched themselves on me.
We hug and all get up and I close my book, with a few now creased and squished pages, I take my headphones out and put them lose in my hoodie pocket with my phone. I stood up and gave them both a proper hug, and scuffed Aaron’s crazy mop of hair like I use to. I gave my mum a hug said “hey mum missed you” she responded with “hey you, missed you little bug,” (little bug is her nicknames for her kids) my dad started arguing with my mum so I figured we should head to therapy and get it over with already. “Come on Doctor Mayfields’s room is this way.” I said loud enough so my parents heard, and pointed down a corridor. They carried on arguing so I went to Aaron and Ella. We walked ahead with my parents walking behind. I put my arm round Ella as I could tell she was just as anxious about therapy as me. I scuffed Aaron’s hair again and put my other arm around him as he got really scared easy. I tried to distract them from my parents arguing so I asked Aaron about his birthday party he went to this morning he is still dressed like a pirate as it was pirate themed. He told me they had the most fun time, they eat lots of cake and pizza. His team won at laser tag. It sounds like he had a good time I am just am just annoyed I was there to help him with his costume this morning but Ella helped him and he looks so good in his pirate costume. After he brightened up slightly, I turned my head to ella who was watching the floor as we walked.
“what about you little sis? You excited about your first ever sleepover later?” I remember her telling me about this a few days ago, her best friend Jane invited her and a few other friends for a sleepover since it’s Jane’s birthday.  
“yeah it’s gonna be awesome, we going to stay up all night long, chatting and playing board games and her Nintendo wii, and watching Disney and doing make overs on each other and eating all junk food we can eat.”
“sounds like the best sleepover, I use to have a few like that with Izzy and Becca, we would stay up all night watching Disney, eating all the popcorn and chatting about boys. Which your probably too younger for that part.” I tease her. “You got your sleeping bag ready?
“no mum said she would take me to buy one later but if they keep arguing I don’t think that will happen.” She went from being happy and excited to looking back at the floor.
“I know…in the den upstairs we have some pillows and my old sleeping bag up there that I use to use when Izzy and Becca came over for our sleepovers, you can use that one. And feel free to take any DVD from the den you want just make sure to bring it back. I think I might even have some old make up in my room you can use if you want?”
she brightens up “thanks anna,” she wraps her arms around my waist.
“go in my room, by my desk in the bottom draw should be some make up in there. When I get out we can have our own little sleepover if you want? Up in the den, maybe even invite Aaron?” I look over to him and he likes the sound of that. You can both invite a friend if you want, Ella you can invite Jane and Aaron you can invite Luke, and I can invite Izzy and Becca over, and Becca can bring Mandy. We can watch tons of movies, play board games, and eat all the junk food we can! That sound like fun?” I look at them both and they both look excited. “Okay it’s a plan then, the first night I get out of here that’s what we will do.”

“And when we will that be?” Aaron innocently asks me in a shy tone.
"hopefully very soon, little bro. very soon I promise.” I didn’t want to admit to him it could be months so I went with the vague answer.

We soon arrive at the office. I seat Aaron and Ella on the chairs outside Doctor Mayfield’s office. I pull my mum and dad aside so Aaron and Ella can see us but can’t hear what we say. 
“mum, dad please just don’t argue and don't be angry when we get in that room please if not for my sake but for Aaron and Ella. I understand none of us want to be here but we need to as part of my healing process and hopefully it won’t be too many sessions until I can go home.I look at them and hope the agree.  They look over at Aaron and Ella who are sat nervously on the chairs. Then they look at me and my anxious face, and they both nod and agree for the sake of Aaron and Ella and for my healing process they wouldn’t argue in front of Doctor Mayfield.

The door opens and her last patients walks out, it’s Nathan but he looks like he has just cried so I leave him to go off on his own but I make a mental note to find him later and make sure he is okay.  He walks off pretty fast. The door is still open which is our cue to enter, I just want to get this done already. My parents take the lead and walk in and I walk over hold my hands out for Aaron and Ella and walk in together. Mum and dad are sat the other side of the sofa to each other. Ella sits by mum and I sit Aaron over on a bean bag and sit on the bean bag next to him.
Let the hell that is therapy begin.
“Hello my name is Doctor Mayfield.” She says as she walks from her desk over to the chairs and sits on the desk chair opposite the sofa and bean bags. “it’s nice to meet you all,” She shakes my mum and dad’s hands and they introduce themselves. “Hello Doctor Mayfield, I am Sharon, This is David and this is Ella and Aaron and you know Anna of course.”
“Yes hello please call me Joanne, Doctor Mayfield is so formal. Aaron and Ella there are some colours and drawing pads over there.” She points to the art corner of the room with the children’s doll house. “Why don’t you two draw me a picture of your family and anna would you go help them please? I would like a picture of your family from each one of you please and while you do that I just need to speak to your parents about some boring adult stuff like medication and paperwork.
We do as she asks even though me and Ella look at each and both think it’s ait young for us to draw pictures. She notices me look a little unenthusiastic about this but she said “trust me I have reasons for asking you to draw pictures. Aaron doesn’t seem to mind too much he is still at the ages where he like drawings for fun. I set up the drawing pads give us each a piece of paper and get the colour pens out the box. I grab a pencil and do sketch of our house including the den. I put me and Ella and Aaron in the den watching a movie. I draw mum and ad downstairs arguing at each other and shouting and I draw a few cross lines. I only do a rough sketch as I didn’t think we had much time but sketching doesn’t take me long so I do some shading and detailing. I look at Ella’s and she draw mum and dad looking cross at each other in red. She draw her and Aaron watching and then in the background she drew me behind a few bars with a big padlock on it. Aaron’s is a little simpler as his mind is only young. He drew us stood next to each, mum,dad, Ella, him, and me. We are stick figures as Aaron is young and doesn’t now how to draw people yet.  Mum and dad look angry and he wrote the word divorce above them expect he spelt it wrong instead of “divorce” he wrote “divorfe” he doesn’t know how to spell long words yet. Between me and him there is a big red line.
We are almost done drawing and I can hear mum and dad talking with her about paperwork and some medication I am on.  It sounds complicated.
Doctor Mayfield notices we are almost done and says “looks like your almost done over there, come sit over here and join us again. Bring your lovely drawings I want to see them.” We do as she asks. Ella sits between mum and dad and me and Aaron sit on the beanbags.

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TO BE CONTINUED
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Sorry I left it there, that's as much as I have wrote right now, I will be writing more and hopefully publishing part 12 within a week or two. I am hoping to finish this story soon, it was started two years ago I will finish it soon so I can move on to another story.

Hope you enjoyed this part and you like this story.

thanks for reading

comment any ideas you have for this story and any topics you want me to cover?

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